Words by Azryah Harvey
No matter your size, shape or weight, body positivity will only get you so far in a world that values what your body looks like over what it allows you to do.
By now, you will have heard of the body positivity movement. The phrase was coined in the early 2010s with good intentions: to help people feel good about their bodies regardless of size, shape or weight. It didn’t take long to snowball into the online phenomenon it is today, a rejection of mainstream and western beauty standards.
But despite initially serving to be inclusive of larger and differently-abled bodies, its current state reminds me of the turn the natural hair movement took. Don’t remember? Let me refresh your memory.
The natural hair movement intended to champion afro-textures. It created a community for Black women with kinky and coily hair, whose textures have historically been referred to as ‘nappy,’ ‘coarse’ and placed in the ‘bad hair’ category. As soon as the movement gained momentum, the Black hair industry began to see dollar signs. Marketers hijacked the movement to increase profits, ostensibly represent marginalised groups, and call themselves “inclusive” without actually having to “include”.
Let’s not forget the content creators, with their luscious, shiny 3b locs, who came out in droves to speak on the torment they endured. How the years of wearing their 16-inch tresses bone straight was a reflection of their crippling self-loathing and shattered self-esteem. Now, while my sarcasm is palpable, I understand that people with all types of curls will experience genuine insecurities about their hair, just like those of all complexions, sizes and shapes will experience insecurities about their bodies.
But there’s just one thing that can’t be overlooked. There’s a clear advantage that those with certain textures, skin tones and figures have. Their unabated inclusion in certain movements leads to the erasure of the very people and experiences said movements are meant to amplify. As soon as this starts to happen, the movement loses what made it so powerful in the first place.
Body positivity, in theory, seems foolproof. It works up until a point. What happens when the harsh realities of our judgemental world take its toll? We all have days when we just feel ugly, or we feel ‘too big’, or we have ‘no ass’, or our skin breaks out. With beauty standards changing like the weather, how does body positivity help us when our positivity is in the red?
Body positivity encourages you to believe that you are beautiful no matter what. But in that sense, it’s contradictory. Body positivity subscribes to the idea that there is a standard of beauty – and we should love ourselves regardless of it. But what if we took beauty out of the equation? Enter: Body neutrality.
I first started weight training in 2019 after a heartbreak. I wanted that revenge body and, I can confirm, your girl got her lick back! Yet, as soon I hit my goal, I lost all motivation to workout. My commitment to improving myself was rooted in nothing but aesthetics. I was buying into the unhealthy preoccupation with making a man rue the day he let me go.
But once that aesthetic was achieved, my body was neglected. Don’t get me wrong, I felt positive about the way my body looked. ButI had no regard for how my body felt and no appreciation for the things my body allowed me to do – I only cared about its appearance.
After countless failed attempts, I started exercising again at the end of 2022, and I’ve managed to stay consistent. My secret? I no longer exercise to look my best, but rather to be my best, to feel strong, healthy and disciplined. I stopped taking progress pictures, weighing myself and measuring my hips. I want to look at my external body without judgement, and be attuned to my inner body with patience and determination.
Physical appearance shouldn’t be a barometer of our worth. While body positivity (rightfully) challenges unattainable and unnatural standards of beauty, it still places an emphasis on physical appearance.
Feeling good about the way your body looks is generally a good thing. But I believe in body neutrality because it reminds us that what our bodies look like shouldn’t matter. How we appeal to the human eye should be inconsequential. Body neutrality prioritises how we appeal to the human heart, promoting the belief that what counts is on the inside, as cliche as it sounds.
It fosters an appreciation for life, for what our bodies allow us to do. This is why body neutrality is for everyone. No matter how beautiful society deems you to be, we all have to reckon with our bodies changing in ways that we won’t like. And yes, you may fit the ideal today, but a beautiful face and a small waist doesn’t afford you the privilege of waking up to see tomorrow.
Practising body neutrality helps you shift your focus from what you look like, to what you live like.