Words by Axel Metz
Even on the pitch, style matters. As the new Premier League season gets underway, we rank this year’s sartorial efforts – from the trash to the triumphs.
20. Burnley
Ahh, Burnley. The most boring club in the league has produced its most boring kit. Are we at all surprised? There’s about as much creativity here as there is in the Clarets’ back line. At least the collar is different this year?
19. Sheffield
For all of last season’s quality on the pitch, the Blades’ latest effort on the shirt-front is less-than sharp. Pixels in the stripes? This is the Premier League, not Football Manager.
18. Fulham
Quite frankly, relegation can’t come quickly enough for Fulham. Not because their fans prefer the Championship, but so the rest of the league can be spared the monotony of this kit.
17. Tottenham Hotspur
When I look at this shirt, I see Erik Lamela. From six seasons ago. That’s not a good thing. Maybe they added the diamond effect to appease Gareth Bale? Who knows.
16. Leicester
Still clinging to the title-winning success of 2016, the fitted gold sleeves on Leicester’s new kit aren’t as stylish as Adidas wants them to be, but they’re about the only thing keeping this from being a straight copy-and-paste job.
15. Southampton
Other lists of this kind have ranked Southampton’s latest effort much higher than 15th. All I see is an ugly seatbelt, presumably to protect them from the approaching car-crash of a season.
14. Manchester City
Broken glass or holiday swimming pool? You decide.
13. Aston Villa
Kappa have done an acceptable, if not terribly impressive, job here. The understated stripes make this kit a little too pyjama-like, but the in-game shirt is a clear improvement on the replica pictured above.
12. Manchester United
Much has been made of United’s zebra-inspired third kit, when perhaps more flack should have been directed towards this lacklustre effort. Last season’s pure-red aesthetic has been replaced by a worn-out bus seat, but at least the old badge design has returned. Not awful, but not great either.
11. West Brom
The Baggies: everyone’s favourite second team. If there was a ‘highly commended’ award among this year’s kits, West Brom would sweep it. It’s clear the designers at Puma have tried to reinvent a classic here, with mixed results. A* for effort, though.
10. Newcastle
Finally, stripes done right. No pixels. No pyjamas. Plain and simple, Newcastle have got an incredibly wearable jersey. Couple it with a Gucci headband and you’ll be ready for the streets, Saint-Maximin-style.
9. Chelsea
Yes, the giant ‘three’ is grotesque, but Chelsea’s latest effort is another example of a shirt which looks miles better in-game than on the shelves. The navy accents on the collar and sleeves are a nice touch, and a crew-neck is always the right choice. In any case, the Germans seemed to like it.
8. Brighton
Polo shirts are back in, and Brightonians know it. Largely ditching last year’s white stripes, the Seagull’s have themselves a suitably-voguish kit for their inevitable 17th place finish.
7. Crystal Palace
A rare example of a successful attempt to try something new. The sponsor is as ugly as it gets, but Puma have done well to integrate the classic Palace stripes into the rest of the shirt. Maybe it’ll be enough to keep Zaha for one more season.
6. West Ham
Unlike with Burnley, Umbro have done a job here. Colours in all the right places, this is the best of the league’s annual collection of burgundy and blue. If there’s a way to make Declan Rice look stylish, this is it.
5. Wolves
Surprisingly, the addition of giant black blocks on the sleeves of last season’s kit has worked wonders for Wolves. The gold colouring is enough to make any of their jerseys pretty to look at, but the contrast going on here does a great job of matching the kit to the badge. *wolf whistles*
4. Leeds
I expect it’ll be a controversial choice to place Leeds in a Champions League position on this list, but the top-flight returners have got Adidas working at their best here. It’s more Real Madrid than Northern England, so let’s hope Patrick Bamford turns into Marco Asensio to keep them up for another season.
3. Everton
It’s not just recruitment that Everton have excelled in this year. Hummel (yes, the Danish sportswear brand) have pulled a rabbit out of the hat to dress Ancelotti’s men in one of the finest kits of the season. Even the MarioKart-inspired, speed-booster shoulder pattern is cool. What’s not to like?
2. Arsenal
Yawn. Puma have done it for the Gunners again. It doesn’t quite hit the heights of last year’s streetwear gem, but Arsenal’s latest home kit blends old and new, classic and contemporary in a way that only Arsenal kits seem to do. Aubameyang should sign the contract just for this.
1. Liverpool
In a deeply frustrating turn of events, it’s Liverpool who match last season’s Premier League triumph with a new kit which is, quite frankly, worthy of a title defence. Switching sponsorship from New Balance to Nike seemed like a move to simply balance the books, but it appears the Reds have been spared the recent mediocrity of the swoosh and instead rewarded with a lesson in stylish simplicity (those teal accents are a masterstroke). Not jealous. At all.